Le Love's "I hereby" Haha!

I hereby stop thinking of boys. Stop thinking that "maybe there’s still someone out there for me", making up scenarios in my head about how I could meet someone, about how it would be to be with someone. I hereby stop falling in love with boys that do in fact exist, but which I give nonexistent fantastic personalities in my mind, without even knowing them. I will now stop doing all of this, thinking and dreaming about all of this. It’s only taking precious time that could be used in some other way. It’s only taking my energy and making me hope for things that cannot, and probably will not happen. These thoughts are like bubbles, hurting me when they break and when I realize that it was always only in my head and never for real. I hereby stop doing this. If I am to experience love, I want it to be for real. And if I’m not, well that sucks, but life goes on, and I like to believe that there’s more to it than falling in love. From now on, I’m going to stop making up all these dreams, and going to focus on the reality instead. Life can be so much more, and you have only one, so why waste it on this pointless dreaming. It may sound harsh, but I’m done with these dreams now. They give me nothing but a heartache.

I’m not giving up on love. And I know that dreams can be a wonderful way to escape reality. I just don’t want for them to take over. I don’t want to hold on to these dream-bubbles and make myself fly so high that I won’t survive the fall.

Inspired by Le Love

I haven't fallen in love yet or maybe I did. I really don't know. I'm only twenty two, the baby of the family as being the youngest, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it so badly. 


As long as I can remember I've always been searching for "the one." Romance novels, disney fairytales, and Hollywood chick flicks have put images of white knights and prince charmings in my head that realistically don't exist. Alas the hopeless romantic, emphasis on hopeless, LOL! Not really that hopeless at all. I am just thinking can I ever meet the man that I would soon be spending the rest of my life with, when will it be and how? And more importantly in his heart, was choosing me the best choice he has ever made?  So many questions that I have set my eyes peeled in case one magically walked through a magic mirror into this world searching for me too.


I have a need. A need to write it down, to get my feelings on this paper so I have something that I can hold on to. Because I am confused, so very confused, wandering around a dark room not knowing why or how I ended up in it. Like a cliché. So many stories that I read are applicable to mine, but still I feel a need to write my own story down, a substitute is just not good enough.


I can’t get the hang of this. I’ve been typing and erasing and can’t decide how to write so I don’t know how it will turn out. My story is confusing, especially to me. You see, everything we’ve been through, it’s so baffling, intertwined and complexly stretched out that I can’t even put it into words.

As my first semester in my fourth year at law school comes around the corner, I cannot help but think "will he be in this room?", as I walk into new classes; a clean slate, they don't know me and I don't know them.

Believe it when it's said, I'm not desperate nor do I need a boyfriend. Believe it when it's said, I just want to know what it feels like, to have someone in which you can be 100% yourself, that will love all your flaws as you love his or hers.

You see I am a sucker for books, and sappy stories, though I do not like showing it sometimes. Both happy endings and tragic endings appeal to me because the characters in stories always feel something nonetheless. Dreaming is all I have ever known.

So I'm terrified that I'll be one of those girls who never falls in love because it hasn't happened yet. I don't exactly know if falling in love is the same with falling in like. It's quite a broad concept. I'm also terrified that I'll be one of those girls who falls for anyone just to see if love could be found there.

Who will love the girl who loves getting lost in a book, chasing those fantasies that only exist in her mind?

Who will love the girl who suddenly gets quiet because she got a bad vibe, so it ruins her whole day?

Who will love the girl who gets lost is her train of thoughts and will never be able to tell you why she got lost in the first place?

Who will love the girl who yearns for those midnight talks about life and what it has to bring?

Who will love the girl?

I know that I'm not the only one out there who feels this way. Younger, older, wiser: there are many of us. It's a scary concept, love, but I still want to feel it. 

Mr. Unpredictable

The most awaited moment after the New Year celebration is to be with my closest girlfriends on the first day of class and have dinner with them at Jollibee and chika just about everything with them all. Yet, out of the three gal pals I've been so closed with, only one came with me but no worries. I still loved the company of a true friend like Richie. I know the others are quite busy with work and stuffs but we'll all be reunited for sure.

Well, to start off, Richie and I were definitely giggly about updates from our lives, Sendong, school and especially matters of the love department. It was such a joy sharing with her of the things I so wanna share with my sisters but couldn't do so because they might not approve of it and it felt quite awkward to have it talk out with them. What is even weird is I feel more comfortable being with my non-biological sisters when the topic shifts to talking about boys and the likes. Haha! 

And the moment when we were kind of talking about our lovelife, I felt so happy for my girlfriend since she's starting to move on with her last relationship. She now finds another love interest and she hopes just like any girl is praying for that this one she is crazy about might be the right one for her. 

Then all of a sudden, during our ever so-loud laughter and bruhahas, we kind of babbled about reciprocal love for she and I have such similar situations. I asked her about her opinion on my recent "kilig" and she thinks there's a special thing going on between me and the guy, let's just call him, Mr. Unpredictable. :) 

The fact that both of me and that dude felt something special for each other even after so many years has passed by, Richie and I are certain that there is indeed a "compromise of reciprocal concessions" between Mr. Unpredictable and me. Haha! Inspired by Secured Transactions class, I guess SO. 

I really hope that Mr. Unpredictable will still sweep me off of my feet and stay true to his feelings for me. It wouldn't take a scientist to know what's actually going on between us for even a 6 year old kid knows that when you looked me in the eye, there were sparks in it and that for me,  it is undeniable that for years, that same feeling I get from the very first time I fell for you is the one that gets me everytime I look into those eyes. 

This was the feeling that is the hardest to deny. Your smile, everything about you even the thought of your name alone creates a sudden upsurge of different emotions, the fast beat of my heart and no matter how I try not to still feel that same feeling for almost eight years now can not be controlled. YOU are still the one. I still feel you the way I felt when I was just 15 years old.

I don't know if you are reading this right now, but I am pretty sure if you do and if you still feel the same way for me after all those years, I will just be here waiting for you to come back and let's see where destiny takes us.You are still my very heart and life. Always. But recently, you have been missing in action and it's kinda bothering me at times. Hmn.. the last moment we chat was amazing but why the sudden disappearance? Hey, Mr. Unpredictable, are you still there? ♥ =)