Of Chameleons and Newness...

ADAPTABILITY. This is one of the things I admire about chameleons. They change their skin color as an instinct to protect themselves from upcoming danger. They are able to adapt with the environment once they feel they are approached by their predators. They bamboozle their way through by altering their skin color which I believe is pretty awesome. FOR SURVIVAL.

For years, I've always been quite pampered and protected since I am the baby princess in the family. My parents wouldn't even want to take their eyes off of me. Wherever I go it is like they have ears and eyes everywhere. Until such time I entered law school that I somehow acquired FREEDOM. To travel. To work. To be in a relationship. Hehe! That freedom was such a feat in my life. With that, planning for my future and wanting to learn to adapt is something I look forward to. 

NEWNESS. This incredibly optimistic outlook is something beautiful but dangerous. I don't want to bail out immediately for this privilege of being independent. This fear of too much freedom could be good or bad for me. New experiences are waiting to be discovered. New stories are to be told. This heartbeat. The doubts. All of these are emerging in my chest. I am flushed with excitement and paralyzed with fear. It's fun. It's new. It's agonizing because of the uncertainty in what lies ahead but giddy with every ounce of desire to try it!

No matter how naive this entry sounds to you all out there, I know in one way or another you can relate to how I feel. This freedom, I hope won't consume me or hurt me like hell. I've rebelled once and it wasn't pretty. It ate my conscience. It felt ugly. I've lived a lie because of that stupid idea. I was hurting other people and I swear I will never do it again. And now that FREEDOM is offered to me, I thought of NEVER wishing for this at all. But I gotta learn to muscle up! This is oddly comforting since it feels like I am playing my first ever vulnerable card in the hope of finding it all. It's mystery and beauty tempts me in every way. This has given me all the more the reason to hope mightily for the best. GOD BLESS me indeed! ♥ =)